For years I worked for companies that didn’t permit me to grow my righteous man mane. A quarter inch, sometimes more, was usually the line in the sand I couldn’t cross. It was just the way the corporate world was, so I accepted it and didn’t dwell on the issue.
But I always wanted to grow a big, glorious beard.
Once I left the corporate world, I started experimenting with my whiskers. I let it grow without ever trimming any part of it. It was exciting to see for the first time that I was capable of filling my face with hair!
As it got longer, I started combing it out regularly in an attempt to train it and present it the way I wanted it to. It wasn’t working. There were always out-of-place hairs and crimps from where I’d slept on it the night before. Combing alone wasn’t doing anything to help this.
It wasn’t long before my burgeoning beard had a mind of its own. At that point, I had gotten used to the fact that if I slept on my side at night, my beard would look like it got caught in a wind tunnel. Little creases and curls where they didn’t belong became more abundant, and split ends, along with uneven growth, were making my beard less appealing than it had been when I first started growing it.
Honestly, I looked homeless.
Once I realized that I decided I either had to make this mane look decent or end the experiment. I looked up some videos online about caring for a beard, which felt pretty stupid at the time. It’s a beard, how much is there to know?
I felt even stupider when I realized I was the Jon Snow of beards, and I knew nothing. I wasn’t really growing a beard; I just wasn’t shaving.
Just the process of trimming a beard was much more involved than I could have expected. And never in a million years would I have assumed that these masculine guys with big, noble beards were using product in their man fur.
After feeling like I had done enough research and formulated a plan to tame my mane, I found a company that sells beard care products and put in an order. A few days later I was greeted with an arsenal of tools to beat back the unrestrained advance of my beard.
The very first time I applied beard balm and brushed it through the way you’re supposed to, I was floored with how good my previously unkempt mess looked.
It was night and day. Not five minutes prior I would have looked right at home in a shelter, but suddenly I looked like a masculine professional. Professional at what, I don’t know, but I looked like I had a profession, as opposed to looking like I was waiting in line at the soup kitchen.
If you’ve thought about growing out that Chia Pet on your face, but hesitated because when you’ve tried it previously it didn’t present itself how you imagined it, these 7 ways to keep your righteous mane righteous should give you reason to reconsider and give a distinguished beard one more shot.
1. Grow it with Purpose
The first thing you need to consider when starting your man-mane journey is what kind of beard are you going for. How long or short do you want it to be? Are you going for a full power beard, or simply a five o’clock shadow look? Do you want a modest chin-strap or are you trying to make a statement with some big, fat mutton chops?
No matter what you want it to look like, the first step is letting it grow.
Resist the impulse to shave it off. That itchy stubble can become a nuisance, especially if you’re not used to it, but you have to fight the urge to eliminate that annoyance. There are ways to eliminate the itch that will be outlined further on, but the most important thing you can do starting off growing a beard is merely letting it grow. Let it become the beard it can be.
2. Use the Right Trimming Tools
Sure, you can grow out a wild and free beard like Chris Stapleton or a mangy playoff beard like Julian Edelman, but if you’re shooting for something more presentable, you’re going to need the right trimming tools.
If you’re going for a longer power beard, you want to get some high-quality scissors. Don’t pick up a pair of childproof construction paper scissors and go whacking away at your man mane. Spend the extra cash and get scissors that are easy to control and cut clean.
For those of you more interested in something short like Drake’s defined beard or Joe Manganiello’s three-day scruff, invest in a set of high-quality clippers. Clippers have to be cleaned and maintained to get the most life and efficiency out of them, but they make getting your beard to look just right a cinch. High-quality clippers are also something to consider for those growing out a longer beard, depending on how full you want it to look. They make trimming up sideburns and mustaches a breeze.
3. Trim with Time
Trimming a beard isn’t like shaving. You shouldn’t be groggy and semi-incoherent when you take the scissors to your facial hair homestead.
You don’t need to trim your beard every day. Usually, you shouldn’t, though some shorter styles do well with a daily prune.
When you are going to trim your beard set aside enough time to do it right. Give yourself at least half an hour of distraction-free time to yourself to concentrate on the task at hand. It takes a month on average to grow out just a 1/2 inch of facial hair, so you don’t want to accidentally cut off hairs that took perhaps six months to manifest.
Take your time getting the edges and definition just right. Comb it out in between cuts to make sure you’re not going too far. Don’t rush it.
Trim your beard with purpose and confidence and it will reflect those qualities in its appearance.
4. Wash it Gently
Nothing screams manly like treating your beard like the princess it can be. But properly washing it is key to keeping that righteous mane handsome.
Overwashing your beard is going to damage it. And using the regular shampoo you use on your dome is going to do the same.
As rugged as it may look, your beard is delicate. Besides being a different kind of hair than what sits atop your skull, the skin on your face is different from the skin on your head. It’s sensitive.
Beard shampoos are designed to efficiently wash away the dirt and oil that accumulates throughout the day while being gentle on the hair and skin it comes in contact with. It keeps your whiskers clean and fresh without damaging them and irritating your face. Wash your beard two or three times a week with shampoo (a daily rinse with water is fine, but overwashing, even with a specialized beard shampoo, can damage your beard) and it will continue to present itself as a rugged testament to your character, as dainty and needy as it may be.
5. Moisturize
Your face blanket keeps your skin from being exposed to the elements, but it also dries that skin out. Dry skin under your man mane can cause beardruff, or dandruff on your face. No one wants that.
To keep your skin happy and moist get yourself some beard oil. This is specially designed oil for the skin on your face that will help give it the nutrients and moisture it needs to remain healthy. Rub it in thoroughly over all the skin under your beard and let it do its work.
Beard oil doesn’t do much for the hair itself, it’s mainly beneficial for the skin. For shorter beards, it can enhance the look a bit, but for longer beards, it simply makes your beard shiny.
But hey, if you want to have a shiny beard no one is going to stop you. You do you.
6. Style with Balm
This is the biggest factor when trying to make your beard look the way you want. The first time I used beard balm I couldn’t believe that such a simple product fixed everything I had been trying to rectify for months in five minutes.
For a shorter beard, balm isn’t quite as necessary. A five o’clock shadow doesn’t require balm and frankly, it would be a waste of money (unless you just like the scent). But the longer your beard becomes, the more necessary beard balm becomes.
Similar to the consistency of vegetable shortening, beard balm is almost like hairspray for your beard. The difference is unlike hairspray beard balm won’t dry out your whiskers making them stiff and brittle. Beard balm makes your beard soft and approachable, something someone would enjoy running their hand through.
But don’t overdo it, a little beard balm goes a long way. Too much balm leaves your mane oily and greasy. Take roughly a pea-sized dollop for every inch of facial hair you have and rub it through thoroughly. Once the balm is in brush or comb your beard from the bottom of your neckline in an upward arc outward. This will give your man mane volume and an overall impressive appearance while remaining soft to the touch.
7. Stop Stroking It
There is nothing quite as satisfying as stroking your glorious facial wreath, but you have to resist the urge.
I’m incredibly guilty of doing this, so I know it can take a very conscious effort to stop, but make the effort. Constantly stroking your man mane, as distinguished as it may look when you do it, pulls at the hairs on your face with every stroke. Eventually, those hairs get tugged on enough that they come out.
Facial hair doesn’t grow as thick as other hairy areas on the body. Every single whisker you have adds to the volume and overall appearance of your beard. When you stroke your beard and end up with one of your four-inch hairs in your hand, that’s eight months of growth down the drain.
One hair isn’t going to make all that much of a difference, but if you are perpetually stroking your beard more and more hairs are going to come out, and eventually, your beard is going to lose its voluminous allure. Keep your hands off your beard as much as you can.
Growing a beard should be fun, but it can also be a challenge. Anytime it becomes a headache or more trouble than it’s worth, shave it. Don’t inconvenience yourself for a look.
But if you’re up to the challenge, you can cultivate an immaculate box beard like Oscar Isaac, or you can rock a Viking beard like Jason Mamoa. It’s all up to what you want and what your facial hair grows like. You can even sport a patchy beard like Keanu Reeves, it’s all up to you.
After a few months of growing and properly caring for your beard, you’ll be amazed at the results. So will the people you meet. Use these 7 ways to keep your righteous mane righteous and you’ll see for yourself.
